Falling
by Rei Tel Aviv
Summary: She was falling again. Her back hit the ground and all she could do was stare up into the face of the man who was going to kill her. She felt him sitting on her chest, and she could hardly breathe. Was this the end of her life?


**Author's Note**: Just had this urge for a one-shot. Something angsty. :) so be prepared.

For my faithful readers of Lost Dreams! This is all for you guys.

**Falling**:

She walked down the hallway, after splitting up with Tony. The bad feeling she usually got when something was about to go wrong, was almost like a drumline in her stomach. Something very bad was going to happen. She should have stayed with Tony. What would she do if he got hurt? They'd been partners for two years now. Two long years. In Mossad they never kept the same partner. It always changed.

'_Dammit.._' she thought to herself. Something was definitely going to go wrong. She turned the corner, and she had no time to react to what happened. The shot rang out, and suddenly all that she could feel was a terrible itch. Then.. pain. Everything went dark, and she could only feel herself falling. Where was he.. where was.. wait.. who was this '_he_'? The pain was making it unbearable to try and remember.

Whoever he was.. she knew that she needed him. Why was she so stupid? She should have known. Should have paid more attention to what she was doing. Everyone always joked she was softer after she went to NCIS. Maybe she'd lost her instincts. They had to have been right.. she was completely useless.

She groaned, trying to move, but the pain shot through her instantly. Maybe.. if she willed it all away, the pain would stop. If she gave up.. she wouldn't have another worry in the world. '_No!_' she yelled at herself. She couldn't give up. Not now. She'd come too far in life to die now. She had to hold on. Tony would find her. He always did.

But the pain.. it was horrible. How much longer did she have to wait?

'Useless.. trash..'

Ziva couldn't make out the voice. Couldn't remember anything. It was all so fuzzy.

Did she deserve this? Had she really been so horrible that she had to die like this?

'_What if.._'

What if she could just will everything away. The pain. The memories. Simply put it all into hiding. Maybe find it some other time. A time when she was ready to let it all envelop her. She wanted to live.. she needed to.

But she was falling. So much faster, and so much harder and further than she wanted.

The lights had gone out. She couldn't see a thing, even with her eyes wide open, there was nothing but darkness. How long did she have to wait for someone to come and save her from such a cold and dreary place?

She was so cold.. so alone.. and for once she was feeling so very.. very scared. For once.. she was in total fear. No.. no.. she couldn't let the fear take her over. It would mean the end of her if she did.

What did you do, when you were standing between the balance of life and death, on shift in the wind and you'd be blown wherever it took you? What did you do.. when you were afraid because you didn't know whether you'd go to heaven, or to hell, when before this, you never believed in either? What if while she was waiting for someone to save her, no one was coming? What if they were hurt too?

Where was he? She won't be able to take this for much longer without him. She needed him. She always has.

Was she crying? Dying? Was she really hurt as bad as she thought? She honestly didn't know for sure, and everything was starting to go numb. Maybe if she let it all subside, and pretended it wasn't there, she'd have nothing left to worry about anymore.

Damn.. where was he? Who was he? Was he even real? Was anything real?

'Tony.. tony.. Tony!'

Who was he? Why couldn't she remember? And where did all the pain go?

She opened her eyes again. Only brightness. All she could see was white. Where was Tony? Yes.. Tony. That was his name. She remembered his name! It was Tony!

Would he come and find her? Would he forget about her? Maybe he didn't remember either.. but.. what if he was hurt too? She was frozen where she was, now filled with worry and pain. What if he was in the same position? Feeling the same pain, the same worry, and the same confusion?

Why.. why did she need this Tony so much? The numbness was fading, and suddenly, she could feel the pain again. As the tears filled her eyes from the sudden realization of the pain once more, she knew. She needed him, because she loved this man she could hardly remember at the moment.

How much longer? Until she was saved? Or before death took her for his own? At this point.. she didn't mind which happened. But god.. why did the numbness go away?

It was becoming more than she could handle. The intense pain, it came at her like a sharp pull, and so she closed her eyes again, willing it to stop.

"Tony.." she whispered.

She was so tired. But she wouldn't fall asleep. She had to be strong for him.

She opened her eyes. Closed them, and then opened them once more. She could see.. very little. Someone was there. Coming towards her. Was it him? Was it Tony? The blurred face came more into focus as he moved right above her. No. No! It wasn't him. That wasn't Tony. Who was this man? What did he want?

She tried. Tried so hard to move, to get away. But she couldn't. And she felt herself pulled up when the man grabbed her by the shirt collar, and pulled her up into the air in front of him. At the moment she was lucky she could even move. She was defensely against him.

"Why.." she managed.

Ziva did what she could, trying to pull herself away, pry herself out of his grasp. But all that she could feel was more and more pain. Suddenly she felt his breath on her ear, and then she was holding her own breath. Was this how it would end? Was this how she would die?

"Stupid, stupid girl," he said. "Why you ask.. why indeed. I like to kill," he said next. "But.. you're so pretty, I almost wish I could keep you alive, too bad," he whispered in her ear. "You could have been worth everything to your people.. but you're just a useless piece of trash now, and it's time to take out the garbage.."

Ziva just closed her eyes. It was so much to take in. And it hurt so much. She knew that he could tell he was putting her in more pain by holding her up this way. The sick bastard, he was enjoying himself.

"Too bad.. you have to die," he said.

And she was falling again. Her back hit the ground and all she could do was stare up into the face of the man who was going to kill her. She felt him sitting on her chest, and she could hardly breath. And then she felt the barrel of the gun against her forehead. And she kept her eyes open. Not because she thought it would keep her alive, but so she could face the man who was about to sign her death. He could live, knowing he had to look into her eyes to kill her.

And she saw him smile. And she felt the kiss on her forehead before she heard the click of the safety.

"ZIVA!!"

She saw him falter. And she took her opportunity.

BANG! BANG! BANG!

All that Tony could do for a moment was look on helplessly as the man shot Ziva. His partner. But he ran quickly, and noticed the man fell. He pushed him off of Ziva as fast as he could, then looked down at his partner, and saw her staring back up at him, her gun in her hand. She'd shot the guy, it wasn't the other way around.

"Ziva.." he said, holding her head in his lap immediately. "Thank god.. Ziva.."

Ziva dropped her hand down, and the gun fell from her fingers. She closed her eyes. She was so tired.

'_Don't.. open them.. your eyes.._'

It was so familiar.. the voice was so sweet. But she was just so tired, and she was in so much pain. She didn't want to open her eyes right now, but she did it anyways. And there he was.. holding onto her like it was his last hope. And faintly.. she could hear him calling for help.

Tony held onto her. He knew that was all he could do for now besides putting pressure on her wound. "I'm here Ziva.. I'm always here," he told her, leaning his forehead down on hers. He'd never seen Ziva like this. Never imagined that he would or could. She always seemed so invincible. Like wonderwoman or supergirl.

"I'm sorry Tony.." she told him.

Tony stared at her, moving some of the dark hair out from in front of her eyes. And he held her tighter. "Sorry for what, Ziva?" he asked her.

"I screwed up.." she whispered, taking comfort from his forehead against hers.

"No Ziva.. you didn't," he told her. "As long as you stay here with me.. then you did everything you were suppose to.." he told her. "Stay awake.. stay with me, Ziva.." he whispered.

She took a deep breath, and flinched at the pain it caused her. But she nodded. "Okay.." she conceded. "But when I get better.."

"Yeah?" he asked.

"I'm going to kick your ass.."

Tony grinned. "Why?"

"Just to prove I'm still better than you.." she explained.

"Deal.." Tony said with a laugh.

**()()()()()()()()()**

**And there it is :) don't know why I was feeling so dramatically angsty. But oh well! That's what happens when you have wierd inspiration I suppose.**

**-Rei**


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